How writing about your problems can help you solve them
When problems feel overwhelming and solutions elusive, it’s often due to a lack of clear understanding. Kidlin’s Law proposes that if you cannot articulate your problem clearly in writing, you don’t truly comprehend it, highlighting how putting thoughts into words can unlock clarity and facilitate resolution.
Understand the Problem Before Solving It
**Kidlin’s Law** states: “If you can’t write your problem clearly, you don’t understand it.” This principle underscores that many obstacles aren’t a lack of solutions, but a fuzzy definition of the actual problem. Failing to define the core issue leads to addressing symptoms rather than causes, wasting time and effort. **Writing the problem down** forces structure, separating emotional responses from objective reality, paving the way for effective resolution. This process doesn’t demand perfect prose, but rather honest and direct expression, because a vague problem will always lead to vague attempts at solutions.
Why Writing Aids Transformation
The act of writing externalizes thought, making it tangible and accessible. Translating internal confusion into written words transforms a vague notion into a concrete concept. This process demands decisions: what to include, what’s factual, what’s being avoided. During this articulation, new insights emerge. For example, “work stress” might reveal itself as a lack of rest, or a “relationship issue” could point to difficulty setting personal boundaries. Psychologically, concrete thinking reduces anxiety; thus, writing not only organizes thoughts but also instills a sense of control, indicating a clear starting point for action.
Applying Kidlin’s Law: A Step-by-Step Guide
Transform confusion into manageable steps using these practical applications of Kidlin’s Law.
1. Write the Problem Briefly and Specifically
Avoid vague statements like “things aren’t going well.” Instead, be precise: “I feel exhausted because I am taking on more responsibilities than I can manage.” Focus on an objective and avoid assigning blame. For example, rather than “I have anxiety,” specify “I feel anxiety when presenting ideas publicly.” Frame this with an objective: **”I want to be able to express myself clearly in front of an audience despite my fear.”**
2. Uncover What You Don’t Know
Review your written statement. Identify ambiguities or missing information. Is the issue a lack of time or poor organization? Is it the job itself or your interaction with it? Be honest about your uncertainties. Write “I don’t understand why I find it so hard to delegate” or “I don’t know why I feel so irritable lately.” Acknowledging what’s unclear is the first step toward discovery and deeper context.
3. Divide the Problem and Seek Step-by-Step Solutions
Large problems can paralyze, but small, actionable steps empower. Once you have a clear statement, think about the first possible actions. If your problem is “my communication with my partner is failing,” break it down into concrete actions:
- Find a quiet moment to talk without interruptions.
- Observe when and how arguments typically begin.
- Propose a weekly check-in to discuss feelings.
These small steps move you out of paralysis, making the “big problem” manageable.
Why Honesty Is Often Challenging
The most difficult aspect of applying Kidlin’s Law isn’t the writing, but the courage to face the truth. We often resist admitting errors, acknowledging dysfunction, or accepting our own contribution to a problem. This isn’t malice but a defense mechanism; the mind seeks to protect itself from pain or guilt. **It’s easier to attribute a project failure to “bad luck” than to confess “I didn’t organize tasks effectively,” or to blame another for an argument instead of examining our own reactions.** However, denying reality only prolongs discomfort. Confronting what’s truly happening, though uncomfortable, is the crucial first step towards breaking negative cycles. Writing problems clearly is an act of self-honesty, stripping away excuses and facing reality head-on.
Cultivating Clarity: 5 Simple Practices
Developing mental and emotional clarity through Kidlin’s Law requires consistency and a willingness to see situations truthfully.
1. Allocate Time for Calm Reflection
When faced with a disturbing situation, resist immediate reactions. Write down your perception of what’s happening. Re-read it later. Distancing yourself often reveals new perspectives and shifts your understanding.
2. Embrace Honesty, Even If Uncomfortable
**Acknowledge your role and responsibilities without self-judgment.** This isn’t about guilt but about self-understanding, which is essential for taking effective action.
3. Question Limiting Beliefs
Phrases like “that’s just how I am” or “things never change” often mask fear or weariness. Write them down and critically assess their truthfulness. Consider how these beliefs impact your life and relationships, and whether they serve as barriers to growth.
4. Tolerate the Discomfort of Reality
These exercises aren’t always comfortable, but they are vital. Admitting mistakes is rarely enjoyable, yet it’s far more liberating than enduring an unnamed, unresolved problem. **Embrace this discomfort as a necessary part of the growth process.**
5. Take Action, No Matter How Small
Once a problem is clearly defined, take a concrete, actionable step. Even if it seems minor, any movement reinforces your sense of direction and progress. This doesn’t need to be a grand gesture; consistent small actions build momentum towards resolution and greater freedom.