Ten Questions That Reveal Whether a Relationship Has a Future
Wondering if your relationship has a future? Once life’s essentials—like a job, health, and family—are secure, the heart’s concerns take center stage. Dr. Gary Lewandowski, a psychology professor at Monmouth University, shared with The Independent in 2025 a set of questions to gauge a relationship’s staying power. Updated with expert insights as of February 20, 2025, here are ten key questions to reveal whether your love can endure. “Yes” answers suggest a bond worth keeping; “no” answers may signal trouble ahead.
1. Do You Consider Your Partner Your Best Friend?
Clinical psychologist and sexologist Carme Sánchez from the Serrate & Ribal Urology Institute emphasizes the value of friendship in romance. “A partner can be your best friend, fostering trust and companionship,” she notes in a 2025 study published by the Journal of Relationship Science. However, she cautions, “They shouldn’t be your only friend—maintaining a broader social circle is vital for balance.”
2. Do You Think You’re Sexually Compatible with Your Partner?
Sexual satisfaction remains a cornerstone of a thriving relationship. Lewandowski’s stance, echoed in a 2024 meta-analysis from Psychology Today, suggests that a “yes” here correlates with higher relationship stability. A negative response, however, often signals deeper disconnects that could erode the bond over time.
3. Are You and Your Partner Emotionally Stable?
Emotional stability facilitates constructive conflict resolution. Sánchez explains, “Stable partners can navigate disagreements with maturity, using tools like empathy and patience.” Data from a 2025 American Psychological Association (APA) report shows couples with high emotional regulation scores are 40% more likely to stay together long-term.
4. Do You Think Your Partner Makes You a Better Person?
Psychologist María Campo Ruano of Sanitas La Zarzuela University Hospital highlights this as a pivotal question. “A partner who inspires growth reflects a healthy dynamic,” she told El País in January 2025. Studies from the Journal of Positive Psychology (2024) link this trait to increased life satisfaction within relationships.
5. Do You Feel Comfortable Sharing Your Feelings with Your Partner?
Trust and emotional openness are non-negotiable, per Campo Ruano. “Sharing feelings builds intimacy,” she says. A 2025 survey by the Gottman Institute found that couples who regularly express emotions report 25% higher relationship satisfaction than those who don’t.
Table: Emotional Openness and Relationship Outcomes
| Response to Question | Likely Outcome | Supporting Data (2025) |
|---|---|---|
| Yes | Stronger intimacy, longevity | 25% higher satisfaction (Gottman Institute) |
| No | Superficial bond, potential drift | 30% breakup rate within 2 years |
6. Do You Accept Your Partner as They Are?
Campo Ruano refines Lewandowski’s view: “Acceptance doesn’t mean ignoring flaws but embracing them realistically.” A 2025 study in Couple and Family Psychology found that couples practicing mutual acceptance were 35% less likely to report chronic dissatisfaction.
7. Can You Argue with Respect, Without Resorting to Insults?
Respectful conflict is a predictor of durability. “Good communication during arguments strengthens unity,” Campo Ruano asserts. APA research (2025) shows that couples who avoid insults during disputes have a 50% lower divorce rate.
8. Do You Think More of “Us” Than “Yourself”?
A “we” mindset fosters partnership. Josu Ahedo, director of the Master’s in Family Educational Guidance at the International University of La Rioja, notes, “Prioritizing the bond over the self is a hallmark of commitment.” A 2024 X poll of 10,000 users found 68% of happy couples answered “yes” here.
9. Do You Have a Good Opinion of Your Partner?
Ahedo underscores this question’s weight. “A positive view—encompassing intelligence, attitude, and character—sustains respect,” he says. A 2025 Relationship Dynamics study linked poor partner perception to a 45% drop in relationship longevity.
10. Do You Share Core Values on Key Life Issues (e.g., Religion, Politics, Family)?
Shared values ease coexistence, though Ahedo adds nuance: “Alignment helps, but love transcends mere compatibility.” A 2025 Pew Research survey found 60% of couples with aligned values on parenting and marriage reported higher stability.
List: Core Values to Consider
- Religion and spirituality
- Political beliefs
- Views on marriage
- Desire for children
- Parenting philosophy
Lewandowski’s original list included controversial questions—like sharing social media passwords or valuing jealousy—that experts now largely dismiss. Carme Sánchez, in a 2025 Psychology Today op-ed, warns against equating control with love: “Jealousy and over-sharing passwords signal insecurity, not strength.” Similarly, Campo Ruano rejects rigid 50-50 decision-making, noting that complementary roles often work better if both partners feel valued.
These ten questions, refined with 2025 insights, offer a practical lens to assess a relationship’s future. Answering “yes” consistently points to a robust, enduring bond, while “no” responses invite reflection on what might need adjustment—or whether it’s time to move on.
