I’m sure many parents are overwhelmed with problems of all kinds. Now, more than ever, we feel the overwhelming weight of the responsibilities that come with raising a family. But who cares for the adult father and mother who also have their own needs and difficulties? The answer is, “You must take care of yourself,” and this article is going to try to give you a hand in this. Rereading Stephen Covey and his “Seven Habits of Effective People” these days, I found several concepts that truly help one reflect on oneself and allow one not to lose the right direction of our personal goals.
First is the concept of being “proactive” and not reactive, i.e. owning our own destiny and having adequate control over what happens to us. We are all going to have problems at some point, this is inevitable. The way we react to these problems is a conscious and responsible decision of each one of us. The person who exercises proactivity has the ability to respond by seeking solutions adequately. The reactive blames others and falls into affective traps where he always has the chance to lose. The proactive person also learns to plan and prevent possible eventualities. They develop a “freedom” as to what will affect them and how they will handle it. Leaving this in the hands of the aggressors can put us in a very vulnerable position. The proactive is someone responsible, which means they have the ability to “respond” appropriately to a situation.
Starting any activity or project with a clear objective is another Covey concept that complements the previous one very well. What are my objectives? Where am I going? are key questions for those people who want to have personal success. It is not enough to have a “clear mission” of our life. This mission may change depending on the personal, professional or family environment. “When a person knows where he is going, others move away to let him go. This neurolinguistic programming phrase clearly exemplifies this concept.
Having priorities and acting on them is another Covey recommendation. How many hours of the day or week I dedicate to what is important in my life and how much to what is “urgent”, which in the end is of little importance. Make a detailed analysis of this and you will see that the result will surprise you. Having well-defined goals and priorities will make implementation easier. The time of each one of us is very valuable and must be invested as much as the most precious asset.
Learning first to listen to and understand others and then to seek to be understood is another valuable lesson. Listening with empathy, that is, putting oneself in the situation of the other, will bring us magnificent results at the interpersonal level, which will also revert to greater personal well-being. The secret of good communication lies in good listening, which means being in tune with the needs of the other.
The idea that we all have the possibility to choose the kind of life we want is fascinating and possible. It is a matter of identifying life purposes, organizing according to them, and fighting obstacles. In reality, power is in everyone. It is necessary to sit with oneself and look carefully at how we want to live life. If for some reason we want to make changes because the result of the analysis is not positive, let’s get to work. You can redefine yourself, reflecting honestly on your purposes and the congruence between them and your actions. The habit of taking good care of yourself will first develop through thoughts, then actions will come, and by repeating one and the other in unison, a new habit will come.
I think it is worth taking care of yourself and loving yourself well, for this will be multiplied in all the members of the family. There is nothing better for children than to have honest parents who have had the courage to reflect on their well-being. This is what will last. The example of good living will always be remembered and in turn will be transmitted and radiated to all those who accompany them.