This article shows you ten tips to help you overcome your confidence issues.
One of the most frequent problems in my practice is low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is a negative perception of oneself, and it is a factor that can be very limiting in our daily lives. The truth is that, on many occasions, patients do not know how to identify that they suffer from low self-esteem. Why?
Because low self-esteem leads to other types of problems that are the supposed cause for which they go to the psychologist, problems such as symptoms of anxiety, depression, behavioral problems, stress, addictions, etc. and here are some tips for identifying what is happening to us and how we can solve it. It is easy to increase self-esteem, you just have to put in a little effort.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the set of beliefs, perceptions, evaluations, and thoughts we have about ourselves, the assessment we make based on our experiences.
What symptoms can warn me that I have low self-esteem?
Some of the main symptoms that can warn us that our self-esteem is not at its best are the following:
- I lack self-confidence
- I do not express my tastes or opinions for fear of being rejected or for thinking that my opinions do not have the same value as the opinions of others.
- I do not feel worthy of the good things in life.
- I don’t strive to get what I want because I don’t think I’m going to get it beforehand.
- I do not relate to others as I would like to because I think I will not do well and I will be left out.
- I need the approval of others very often
- I let myself be easily stepped on because I don’t dare to impose myself when necessary.
- I see other people as superior to me and I would like to be like them.
- I am afraid to say what I feel because others may not like what I say.
- I tend to attribute my achievements to external causes and my failures to internal causes.
- I am almost never happy with what I do because I think I could do better
- I do not feel happy
- I find it hard to finish what I start because I get discouraged very easily.
- Decision making becomes very difficult because I think that whatever I decide is going to be the wrong choice, so I let myself be carried away by what others decide, even if it is about my own life.
- I think about my weaknesses and almost never stop to think about my strengths.
- I feel nervous most of the day
- I find it almost impossible to take the initiative
- I feel evaluated almost constantly in social situations
- I feel guilty
- I feel unattractive
- I envy other people’s lives
- I feel I have nothing to contribute
If you have felt this way on several occasions, maybe the rest of your problems come from having low self-esteem. Let’s try to solve it with some exercises so that you can start to value yourself and believe in yourself. You might be surprised by your capabilities if you make an effort to improve your self-esteem.
How can I increase my self-esteem?
Many people wonder if there is a way to improve their self-esteem. There is no magic potion, but we must be aware that only each person can improve in this regard based on perseverance and following some tips based on scientific evidence.
- Stop beating yourself up
We have to be realistic about our strengths as well as our weaknesses. We are not perfect, but the intention is not to be perfect. The goal is to be happy. So to achieve it we must accept the things we do not do so well and learn from them. And of course, not to downplay the things we know how to do well, but to value them as they deserve.
Let’s observe and be aware of the good things we have, the good things we are, the good things we do. Why keep thinking that I am a disaster? Where has this kind of reasoning led me?
- Start thinking positive
Change your thoughts. The “I can’t” for “I’m going to try”, “I’m going to succeed” “I’m going to do well”. It seems a cliché but forcing ourselves to look at the good things in life can help us to get out of the negative dynamic. If we realize that we have many things to value, it is easier to get out of the negative loop.
- Set realistic goals
And that you can achieve. Goals that are relatively easy to reach. Little by little, we can increase them, and we will see that step by step we are achieving what we propose. If we fail, let’s learn from it without blaming ourselves for our mistakes, because failing is a way to know how to do it differently the next time. Dare to face challenges.
- Do not compare yourself
Each person is a world and you are the owner of yours. Focus on you. On your life. Envying and idealizing the life of others, the only thing we will achieve is to feel unhappy. We all have something good to contribute, and it is up to us to find the right path.
- Accept and forgive yourself
Write a letter in which you describe everything you don’t like about yourself and everything you feel guilty about. Do not leave anything out. Read it carefully and assess what you can improve. Say goodbye to that letter and tear it into a thousand pieces. From that moment on, start from scratch, with everything you have learned but leaving the guilt behind. You still have time to wipe the slate clean.
- Make constructive criticism about yourself
Let everything you say to yourself serve to improve, not to stagnate and blame yourself. Also, learn to deal with criticism in a way that does not affect you.
- Treat yourself with love and respect, always
You are the best thing that ever happened to you, so show it. You have the right to be happy. And to make others happy by spreading your optimism.
- Give yourself time
Do activities that make you happy. It is the best way to find yourself and develop your skills slowly but surely.
- Overcome your burdens
Some people live dragging backpacks full of weight: jobs that do not satisfy them, relationships that do not bring them anything, habits they do not like … To overcome all these burdens, it is necessary to take some control over the situation, think positively, and try to change them.
- Every night before going to bed…
…Think about the good things that the day has brought you, the challenges overcome, the mistakes we have made, and how we can improve.
Try, for 30 days, to put these tips into practice. You will see that by the end of the month you will feel better and many of the symptoms you were feeling will disappear. And remember, there is only one person capable of changing your life, and that person is you!
Learn to love yourself
In the following article, we explain more interesting aspects about the perception you have of yourself, and how to improve in whatever you propose. We hope you find these tips useful and that you manage to follow this good path that you have started today.